The Tail of a Squirrel

Kurtis calls me and tells me he found a baby squirrel lying under a tree near one of his job sites.

This is the picture he texts me!!!
"Oh my goodness, he's so cute!  Bring him home"!

So, I take this adorable creature (or varment, as aunt Hailey calls him) to the local feed store.  I show the owner the squirrel, and his brief response is, "what do you want me to do with it"?  Clearly, he's not as impressed with the squirrel as I am!  He rolls his eyes as he shows me to the kitten formula and bottles.                              

I bring him home, whip up a batch of kitten formula and dump it in one of those miniature bottles the feedstore man sold me... and, as luck would have, like my "real" children, we have a picky one on our hands.  He hates the nipples on those bottles.  Great!!!  I try all kinds of contraptions and we finally resort to a surrenge... and he takes it!!!  Yay!!!  This is a piece of cake...

He's got a full belly, we're off to a good start.  Google, here I come.  Caring for an infant squirrel.  Sweet!  All kinds of information, including the following:

How old is the baby?

1-5 days: tiny, size of a thumb, totally pink (no hair), formula every 1 to 2 hrs.... (NOPE)

5-10 days: development of soft, reddish, sable hair around nose and mouth, formula every 1 to 2 hrs.... (NOT OUR SQUIRREL!)

10 days to 2 weeks: grayish purple color on back, shoulder and head, belly and legs still pink, formula every 2 hrs.... (STILL NOT OURS)

2-3 weeks: gray/purple color deepens until the emerging hair is identified as hair, eyes still closed, formula every 2 to 3 hrs....

3 weeks: baby's lower teeth begin to emerge (hmmm... do you have teeth?  Yup, sure enough), hair is now slick and shiny, still no hair on legs and belly, formula every 2 to 3 hrs....

4 weeks: has light gray-brown hair all over except lower legs, eyes still closed, formula every 3 hrs.... hmmm. we could have a winner!!!  (Formula every 3 hrs... Are you kidding me???)

So, I am (unfortunately) becoming attached to this creature as we've been spending the wee hours of the night AWAKE together!

Kurtis is pretty attached as well...

Ok, a week of every 3 hrs.  what are we in for next?  When can he come off this formula and eat some nuts?  Back to google...

5 weeks: thicker hair, including legs and belly.  Tail hair is short, straight and lies parallel with the bone.  Formula every four hrs., eyes open... (Awww... sweet, an extra hr. in between feedings.  I'm in heaven....YEP, YEP, YEP... that's him).

5-6 weeks: Upper front teeth begin emerging (eeeek, that makes me a lil nervous), begins curling tail over back (awww... cute)

6-7 weeks: fully furred, sleeping less with more active periods (awesome), offer Zupreem primate chow, fruit and a couple slices of avacado (is this a joke?), formula as much as the baby wants (Ok, so does he really want it at 1:30 a.m.?  I sure do hope not).

7-8 weeks: tail is fluffy (cute), should be placed in a cage with plenty of room to play (What the hell?  Tell me more people... why a cage?  He does just fine in his laundry basket, with grandma Sandi's heating pad!), formula 3 times a day, plus solid food listed above; add broccoli, green beans and other veggies except corn and sweet potatoes.

8-9 weeks: Looks like a miniature squirrel (cute, our lil baby all growed up!)  Very active and and shredding your sweaters, curtains, furniture, and arms with its claws, has lost infant appearance (HOLY...What in the world did I get myself into?)

9-10 weeks: develops more muscular physique, formula 2 times a day, add corn and sweet potatoe to diet (this is ridiculous, my kids don't have this well of a balanced diet)

10-12 weeks: about 3/4 full size - release at 12 weeks (release at 12 weeks, ya freakin right, get me the abandoned squirrel hotline.  There's gotta be someone that will take him before that 8-9 week mark!!)  Will reject formula during this period (thank goodness), add to food list a couple almonds or pecans a day and a small handful of large stripped sunflower seeds.

The destroyer!!!       

...to be continued