Our night before Christmas

-'Twas the night before Christmas when all through the house everyone was stirring, it wouldn't surprise me to c a mouse.
-The stockings are hung. Don't touch them, don't you dare.
 -Those homemade stocking holders will fall if you stare
-I in my sweatpants and George on my lap
-Kurtis came in to say,"What do I have to do now, My ass is ready for a nap!"
-Yes, that's my husband a right jolly old elf. And I married him anyway in spite of myself
-"Well, let me tell you what needs to b done dear."
 -"Put Klair's doll crib together and put it over here."
-"Watch Kase's bedroom door cuz he peaks every 5 minutes."
-"When you're done with the crib help me wrap some of these presents"
-"Eat a couple cookies the kids left for St. Nick."
-"Drink the milk too and quit being such a dick."
-"There's lots to do still so get over yourself "
-"and think of somewhere clever we can put Aggie elf."
-"I hate that damn elf", he said with enamor
-"It doesn't even work, Our kids have been worse than ever!"
-And then, down the hall we hear lots of fighting
-"It's Kase and Kash. They're wresting... and they're biting"
-Shaking his head, Kurtis stomps down the hall, "Get your asses to bed or santas not coming at all"
-"Calm down honey, it could be much worse."
-"Look at your family and your parents didn't even curse."
-"Our kids bad traits come from your family"
 -my sweet husband defensively barks back at me.
-"Oh no" I reply, "lets not start this fight!"
-"You're right", he replies, "Santa needs some lovin tonight"
-"Keep dreamin Kurt, we'll be lucky to rest."
-"The only lovin you'll get tonight is your daughter fondling your chest!"
-We finish our duties and crawl to our bed
-So freakin exhausted we wished we were dead
-"How long til they wake up?"
-"If we're lucky, an hour"
-"Why are we even going to bed? Might as well just jump in the shower"
-"Be quiet honey and don't you forget, Don't get me pregnant again you son of a bitch".
-"The jokes on you," Santa laughs as he flies out of sight.
-You idiots do this to yourselves every Christmas Eve night!!!

MERRY CHRISTMAS MOMMIES AND DADDIES!!!!